Unbracing

Codex Vitae 2025

I enjoy writing the Codex every year. It sets things in motion for me without requiring my conscious agency. I write it down and the Universe then starts working on those things for me. My own personal agent, with full 40+ years of context window and situational awareness.

Writing last year’s Codex helped me realize, acknowledge, and act on seeking expert help on important matters. I learned to set and nurture boundaries without rancor (both with others and with myself). I curiously watched situation & circumstance unsuccessfully try to chip away at my power. And then gave both of them a bear hug of reassurance.

In 2026, my ask is Ease. Rediscover my childlike ease (body, mind, work, relationships, & life overall). While enjoying the labors & fruits of adulting – being an awesome partner, parent, son, brother, & professional.

This year, I’m also turning the Codex Vitae into a series of Essays. Thoughts, behaviors, traits, habits, and other things I learned, played around with, and picked up last year.  

Unbracing / Anti-agency / Lighten the grip

Allow for emergence

For high agency, high ownership persons this premise feels like anathema.

Tony Levitan, in my Leaders in Tech cohort, said, ‘It is OK to allow things to emerge. I don’t always have to make them happen.’

When he said that, it was a jolt. It contradicted everything my 18 years of building & running billion dollar businesses across three continents had taught me. It dismissed the hard-earned resourcefulness I’ve repeatedly shown. It negated the relentlessness I’ve summoned again & again to survive and thrive.

But it also liberated me.

I realized that I don’t have to be responsible for the whole world. Some people & things are not mine to save. I also don’t have to be arrogant enough to assume that I know best. Or that I’m capable of being responsible or of saving the whole world. At the same time I don’t have to raise my hands and shirk responsibility.

The words ‘allow’ & ‘emerge’ do a lot of heavy lifting. They imply that I’m still holding onto my agency and curiosity. I am not just sitting around and letting things happen. I am actively seeking an outcome from trying a new approach. I can show up with resourcefulness, relentlessness, and intent. I can keep integrity and focus on the things most important to me. And I can do this without being attached to a result, while still trying to make it happen.

Big mindset shift.

From Imagined Anticipation to Lived Experience

A daily life example of this is taking a really cold shower.

We usually walk in bracing for the bone chilling water hitting our skin and shaking our nervous system. Fists and jaws clenched, bodies slightly stiff and bracing for the impact of the cold water.

We do this, even though we know the outcome. Bracing is not going to change how the water feels on our body. Bracing is only a coping mechanism to divert our brain to worrying & preparing for the event. It serves no purpose.

But if you ever walk into a cold shower without bracing, & with acceptance, the cold water droplets hit quite differently.

The focus shifts from imagined discomfort to experiencing and naming the tactile sensation of cold water on skin. This change makes it a palatable and learning event.

In many cases it is a real Eureka. This (unbracing & just feeling the cold water) wasn’t so bad! What are the other places where I’m unnecessarily constantly bracing for impact?

Self-limiting contradictions

‘If freedom is all you seek, you will never truly be free’.

You are now prisoner to what you seek and not free from that quest. This shows up again and again in every walk of life.

In racket sports, coaches often recommend lightening the grip to hit the ball faster or farther. In business, every function has it’s own limitation within it. Every system, at a large enough scale, starts working against itself. Cancer eventually kills its host, unless it can learn to moderate its quest for growth & immortality.

So also, every practitioner of Agency must regulate it with some Anti-agency. Learn to practice a Wu-Wei Agency version of – ‘Discipline equals Freedom. Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.‘

Learn to unbrace and allow things to emerge; So that you can surgically intervene & shape what really matters.